Some families choose to divide ashes into multiple urns so that different people can each keep a portion. Others may choose a single large urn with the intention of keeping the remains together. In my own family, when my nephew passed, his five siblings each received a portion, while a larger urn was kept by their parents. Some people also choose to keep a small keepsake urn after spreading the majority of the ashes.

Some urns are meant to be buried, others to remain in the home, and some are chosen to be shared among family members. If burial is the plan, the urn size will often depend on the requirements of a cemetery or burial vault. For example, when I made my mother’s urn, we initially selected a large domed form, only to later realize the crypt in the burial vault was too small for it. In that case, we adapted—choosing a different placement option within an existing casket vault. If burial is an option you’re considering, check with the cemetery about vault dimensions and regulations before selecting an urn.

If the urn will stay on a shelf, a mantle, or another area in your home, you may want to think about how it fits into the space, both physically and aesthetically. A more subtle, minimal form may feel right, or perhaps something symbolic and visually expressive is what’s needed. Each urn carries its own presence—its own quiet weight in a space.

Urn size is most often determined by the weight of the person or animal being cremated. A general guideline is one cubic inch of urn space per pound of body weight. A 50-pound dog will require approximately a 50-cubic-inch urn, while a 200-pound person would need around 200 cubic inches. If some ashes will be scattered or shared, a smaller urn may be appropriate.

Aesthetics hold meaning. The color, form, texture, and material of an urn can be just as important as its size and function. It should reflect something about the person it memorializes—or something about the connection they held with those who remain. Some urns are simple, others carry patterns, markings, or surfaces shaped by fire. Some have domed lids, others take on architectural forms, inspired by sacred structures.

If you are unsure what feels right, take a moment to consider what speaks to you. Heart, head, and gut can all help guide the decision. If you’d like to talk through the options, I am always available to discuss them.